Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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