I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
