I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
