i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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