well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
