I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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