check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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