belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
