He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
