Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
