It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
