Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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