was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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