like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
