i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
if only i could text you this smell
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
