Apparently you make a good broom.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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