i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
