I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
