just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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