Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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