Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
