My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
