I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
