i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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