the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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