Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I will die if light touches me.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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