I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
