3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
