I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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