Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize