I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
