so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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