She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
