the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
