we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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