I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Alive.
So much puke
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
