yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
