Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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