So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
