I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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