my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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