i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
