I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
