dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize