I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I party with great urgency now.
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