So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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