No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
