if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
