I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize