Can Purell be used as lube?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
