and she was petting her beer can
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
