She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
