I can text with my tongue
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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