i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
