this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
