I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
