Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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