That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
should my penis look like a turkey
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
