I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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