Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
