So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
