i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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